Dear Melania: Free Yourself (and us)
I don’t hate you because you are beautiful. Actually, I don’t hate you at all. I know nothing about you except for what I’ve observed in the media and am aware that humans are multi-dimensional and rarely the cartoons they are made out to be—with some exceptions of course.
If I’m to believe the press you are simply delicious eye candy (a former model with a heavy accent) and a penchant for boasting, bullying and abusive millionaires. I reject the notion that any woman is merely ‘eye candy’ even if limited thinking has prevented her from imagining better for herself. And while your choice of mates has baffled—if not incensed--an entire nation, I’ve learned no one is ever the sum total of the asshole they’ve married. And yet, our choice of mates offers clues about our self worth--or lack thereof.
In full disclosure, I am one of the millions of Americans who ridiculed you after the plagiarizing of First Lady, Michelle Obama’s speech at the Republican National Convention. And several days following your embarrassment, I found myself wishing I had ‘gone high’ as others went low--as the First Lady so beautifully suggested. But I didn’t. I joined the gleeful chorus in disparaging a woman who is probably ridiculed plenty at home—regardless of how beautiful she is and how luxurious the surroundings.
Rather than sinister, I choose to view your ‘mimicking’ our First Lady as a cry for help. And God knows living with a tyrant, who despises immigrants (like yourself) women (like yourself) and who belittles anyone who disagrees with him (as I suspect you do) it’s little wonder that you can string three coherent sentences together without flinching. And while stealing her speech was foolish and unethical, the fact that you chose Michelle Obama’s words suggests that you at least ‘aimed high.’
First Lady Obama is highly educated, intelligent, eloquent and one of the most fiercely compassionate women who ever graced the White House and certainly a worthy role model. Perhaps you needed the strength of her convictions because you’ve not been able to locate your own. But how could you?
Your husbands vitriolic ranting disguised as oratory have incited the lowest common denominator and revealed the worst qualities of the disenchanted that rally and rail in support of his hatred. And this weeks to ‘call to arms’ against Hillary Clinton and his bizarre claims regarding ISIS and Barack Obama have pushed it over the top.
Apart from his distorted and outlandish accusations, your man has actually been accused of raping more than one woman (and child)—including his ex wife. Your man who brags publicly about his sexual prowess, openly expresses disdain for women, minorities, immigrants and has demonstrated he worships only two things: money and himself. This man (your man) deigns to represent our country, our ideals and our dreams on the world stage.
Because of your exotic appearance, you are no doubt accustomed to strangers (men in particular) sizing you up, assessing your value and quite often making you the object of their sexual fantasies and their disdain—sometimes simultaneously. And ok, those photos didn’t exactly discourage that. As a model you have been looked ‘at’ (and through) and underestimated much of the time. And it is because of that underestimation that I write.
I don’t blame you for your predicament and even suspect you relate very closely to the trepidation so many of us feel. And that is why (on behalf of millions of women) I would like to offer support and strength to get out of your marriage before November. Before it’s too late--for all of us.
God willing, he will defeated in November but by that time it will be too late for you to garner the empathy of the nation. But if you leave now you will inspire countless women in abusive situations to find the courage of their convictions. You will be a she-ro.
If you love the feeling of throngs of people cheering you on (and who doesn’t) just imagine the entire world supporting your decision to leave the man who makes Genghis Kahn seem as threatening as Woody Allen. The combination of nuclear technology and his infantile trigger temper alone is not a combination any of us can risk let alone survive. And I suspect that deep inside you know this already.
Because one in three women are the victims of domestic abuse--physically and/or emotionally, you won’t be alone. There are millions of us looking for a glimmer of recognition behind those dreamy, squinting eyes hoping and praying you can find courage and strength in the truth. And although I cannot speak for her, I am willing to bet the First Lady would be the first to stand next to you and hold your hand in court. And she might even offer to help write your appeal to the judge or perhaps offer you a fold out sofa at the White House until you feel safely out of harms way.
Melania, most of the country will testify on your behalf. You will earn the respect of our nation and the world will offer you that intoxicating standing ovation. But best of all, you—and all of us--will be free of a tyrant.
Molly Secours is a writer/filmmaker/speaker who like most human beings is looking forward to November 8th--being over. Secours is currently directing and producing a feature documentary film called Scouting For Diamonds narrated and co-produced by Bill Murray and Wade Boggs. (the sentiments expressed in this article are strictly those of the author).